Validation of Weakness
Validation of Weakness My Desire To Be Cared About… Hey again, yes I am still alive. Thankfully. This blog post, I just want to reveal how seeking external validation has been an ongoing problem for me. The pursuit of external validation I believe is a factor in why I find myself so stressed all the time at work and with my friendships. Always expecting a text back or someone to reach out to me at random…you know, just wanting someone to think about me now and again? I’ve reflected on this a lot. I can see that day in day out most of my actions seem to be in the pursuit of validation from others, whether that is at work from my colleagues, customers or even from my friends online that I really like. Seeking validation has caused me to have a negative self perception, as a result of always comparing myself against others as a measurement for success in my life, which is a losing battle. One reason for this persistent issue could be that I hardly have anyone around me… That makes me want to reassure myself that the small amount of people around me, do in fact care about me or give a shit about me. At least that to me seems like the most logical reason to why I am always seeking external validation. The origin of this issue could have been my high school days where I mostly kept to myself and didn’t really chat with others, I wasn’t really shy, per se, I more so just felt a deep disconnection to my peers at the time I feel. I didn’t really relate to many of my peers, which I suppose resulted in me not exactly fitting in with the group. Nobody gave a shit about me back then or cared, but I am definitely accountable for my unapproachable attitude during High School that is for sure. It is often best to not let others see the doom and gloomy side of you, as it will surely turn people away from you, including me… Who wants to be around someone negative all the time? That was how I was like in High School unfortunately! And when I say validation I don’t necessarily mean I want to please everyone to receive it I am well aware that its unrealistic to make everyone happy, I just want to be cared about, and to have a purpose in someone’s life, that’s all really. Which leads me onto this… I believe that this curse of always seeking validation from others is a perilous road, especially when the other person has a negative view of themselves and the world you are just asking for disaster. Overall, I would say if I begin disrupting this pattern of seeking external validation and instead seeking it from within myself instead perhaps my mental health will improve, especially at the moment I am too dependent on others to feel ‘good’ or ‘appreciated’ which can result in me being burned even by the smallest of “transgressions”. Perhaps I just want peace in my life and my heart and sometimes I feel I care too much about the opinions others have of me. I just need to let go… Perhaps going down the Phil Collins approach might be best idea for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18UALvCPYs8 Other Posts Validation of Weakness ByTakumori April 19, 2025 Philosophy Validation of Weakness My Desire To Be Cared About… Hey again, yes I am still alive… Call of the Abyss ByTakumori March 7, 2025 Venting Calling of the Abyss: My Struggle With Nihilism Haven’t posted on here in a while… Well… The Loneliness Epidemic ByTakumori June 22, 2024 Philosophy The Loneliness Epidemic: Technology and Isolation The modern age and the technological revolution…
The Loneliness Epidemic
The Loneliness Epidemic: Technology and Isolation The modern age and the technological revolution has brought about countless advancements in all facets of our lives and all sectors of industry, I believe wholeheartedly that those who were born in the 90’s and early 00’s would have grown up in a society going through the whirlwind that was the transitional period into the technologically abundant and innovative era that we now find ourselves in. I myself personally contribute to this technological era through my day job in IT and communities that I run in virtual reality. I distinctly recall back in 2009, where I was only 9 at the time, that I had my first flip phone, for the life of me I cannot remember the brand but it was fantastically cool at the time being able to hang up on people with just the flip of my phone which definitely makes for a theatrical and dramatic scene, however the flip phone was limited in its capacity compared to smartphones today it only allowed me to call, text and would only store but one mp3 file admittedly it was ‘Eminem – Ass Like That’… I also only had Snake that I could play on the phone and an internet browser that was frustratingly clunky and slow, I think it was Opera. Suffice to say all I saw my mobile phone at the time back then was just as another utility not necessarily the “Swiss army knife of tools” that we use them as today. Whilst I do have a deep love for technology I also believe that it has also had considerable consequences on our societies, particularly social interaction and interpersonal relationships. Sure, social media has allowed us to become connected with millions of people but ultimately I see these days that a lot of younger people and even myself are so enamoured with our phones, games and social media that its causing this loneliness pandemic because we are all addicted to our devices which takes away from real human interaction, even more so with the advent of artificial intelligence which every business is trying to jump on the bandwagon and promote as heavily as they can. Perhaps all this is just my biased anecdotal ramblings and maybe it is (its my website after all), but truly I believe that we should really strive for a balance in our society particularly in children to actually have in real life social interactions as well as online because it cannot be understated how much can be gained from real social interaction rather than just talking to someone on a Discord voice chat or texting. There is so much more to people that is just unseen from the picturesque profiles on social media and or masked characters and personalities you find online. Body language being a language all of its own to learn, it can teach you so so much about someone, particularly their intent and sincerity. Its so much more easier to figure out if someone is being manipulative by looking at how they present themselves and how they react when talking. Also take this bit with a grain of salt, because I have absolutely no way of backing this up with proof but I have this suspicion that social media and by extension our dependence on technology have directly contributed to increased social anxiety and depression. I personally feel that we would rather all stay hooked to our technology and devices, wasting our days away watching mind-numbing stuff on YouTube just to simply stave off boredom, when in fact what we ought to be focusing on as a society and individuals is weaning our selves off social media and moving to create/join groups in the real world, so to speak “get out of your room and go outside” like many a parent might have said during your childhood! And perhaps its a cop out if I just blame technology for my own depression but I do believe its a huge factor in it, to the extent that I recognise its role in my life as wasting what precious time I have left on this earth. I have been personally focusing on meeting new people in IRL, trying to find groups and folks to hang out with however its increasingly difficult, to find people IRL, especially not without financial cost or just even stuff that I believe I would actually take interest in participating in. I guess I just gotta keep looking and saying yes to doing stuff rather than making an excuse or saying no. I and perhaps many others really ought to step out of their comfort zones into the great unknown that is the real world, because ultimately you must remember you will die someday ‘Momento Mori’, and I say that not to be negative, I say that to hopefully inspire urgency. Please if you are reading this, please look at your relationship with technology in your life, are you controlling the technology in your life or is it controlling you? P.S: Thanks for reading my first post, at some stage ill add a comment box and email subscription for those that want to respond. Taku's Posts The Loneliness Epidemic ByTakumori June 22, 2024 Philosophy The Loneliness Epidemic: Technology and Isolation The modern age and the technological revolution…